Something I wrote almost six years back. 😁 When I read this again, the first thought that came to my mind was a Walt Whitman quote: “Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.” Maybe because a lot of things has changed from then and now. A lot of ups and downs. A lot of people has walked in and out of my life. I walked into a few lives and walked out from a few, for better or for worse. I made a few good memories worth cherishing and a long list of bitter ones to forget. Yet, fundamentally a lot of good things has remained unchanged. When I look back,I can see that the ones that remained unchanged were the ones that really mattered. I can live with all the upsets and setbacks life has thrown at me because I’m still walking in the right direction to that one dream that matters the most to me, with the people I love the most. All I have to do now is to keep at it. Like my 20-year-old-self advises : Just keep walking. 😊
I went for a long walk in Thrissur town today(August 19,2013).Not that it’s my first walk in Thrissur or anything but still it was special. Maybe because, unlike all those days in the last 3 years,when I walked those streets holding my friends’ hands, I walked all alone today.
Don’t get me wrong friends but walking alone was awesome!The air in Thrissur, it’s noises, landscape, those shops and roadside sellers never looked so interesting before. The details that are going through my head right now are so clear, that I wonder if those places are still in front of my eyes. I can remember everything about today’s walk, every minute detail remains crystal clear in my mind.
Before I go on and on about my day, I think I should tell you why and where exactly in town I went today. Today, after my classes at college I boarded a private bus to ‘Paramekavu’. My main aim was to attend a book fair organised by H&C books near ‘Paramekavu Ambalam'(temple). It was scheduled to be conducted from August 15 to 29th. I had read about it from the newspapers. Some of my friends had already gone there last Saturday. They gave me directions to reach the venue. But I couldn’t find myself a companion because none of my friends seemed interested or free. They were all busy with their project works and such stuff, so I couldn’t compel them either. Obviously,I had no other option than to go alone.
As I started mentioning before, I boarded the bus to ‘Paramekavu’ from ‘Pallimoola’ and reached there by 4:30 in the eve. Barely a 15 minutes journey.I got concession for my bus ticket too. There was no entry fee for the book fair. That was lucky because I just had 2OO Rs plus some coins(for my return ticket) in my purse. I was planning to spend the money on some good and affordable book.
Empty handed, with just a college bag on my shoulders I walked onto that great stage blessed with the footprints and memories of legendary writers and budding new talents. On the first glimpse of the fair, I had a strange feeling in my mind.I felt that my favourites like Dostoevsky and Jane Austen were hiding behind those shelves of books, waiting for me to find them.I shook myself out of the daydream and proceeded forward.
Among those shelves,I found a lot of books I was looking forward to read.To jot down a few, mainly religious scriptures like ‘Aadyatma Ramayanam by Ezhuthachan’, ‘Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen’, ‘Twins by Dostoevsky’, ‘Gitanjali by Tagore’ and lots more. But two main books that I was searching for, ‘Crime and punishment by Dostoevsky’ and ‘Persuasion by Jane Austen’, I couldn’t really find them there. Not that I would buy them immediately if I found them . ‘Cause I am sure none of those books would be available for a cost less than 200 Rs. Summarized versions were seen here and there, but I really wanted to read the original work.
I skimmed through the entire shelves of books, except the dictionary section. Sometimes I stopped near a shelf, just to hold one or two of the classics in my hand, just for the feel of it. Because I knew that I won’t be able to buy them anywhere near in the future,at least for the next 5 years. Until then these book fairs and my friends’ books will be my only refuge and source of inspiration. To become a great writer one day, to inspire people, to be able to spread love,happiness and life through my books. That’s my biggest dream in life.I don’t know how many more long and lonely journeys I still need to take for reaching that goal. But I am sure I am not the kind who gives up and I like to think that I am not alone in this journey. I believe I have God walking next to me, wishing me to enjoy my path and to strive hard to reach my goal.
I walked out of the book fair, still empty handed but with a content and happy heart. The journey was definitely worth it. When I looked back to that hall of books, I felt as though it was a holy place, like a pilgrimage with God’s presence and blessings in it and that I am only a beginner on my way to his blessed throne, walking alone with only hopes and dreams by my side.
After walking out of that hall I found that my walk with books was not done. A bigger, livelier and fantastically written book was lying open in front of me. Waiting for me to read it with an open mind and sincere heart. Some book named ‘life’.
I walked through the streets of Thrissur town: from ‘Paramekavu’ to ‘Municipal junction’, then to the road in front of Bini hotel, from Bini to ‘Vadakestand'(3 stops in bus).
For me walking those busy roads felt like reading a good book. Sometimes walking within the crowd, sometimes against it, staring at people or places, looking around clueless, wondering which way to take. A rain of mysteries around! Faces, shops, their glass windows, people, their eyes, smile, smell of flowers, books, newspapers. It felt like a brand new world.
On the way, I went to Minerva Books and bought a book for my PSC exam preparations. By 5:45 p.m I reached ‘Vadakestand’. The smell of hot groundnuts made my mouth watery. After buying the book my purse had almost become empty, except for my bus fare back to hostel so I controlled my hunger and searched for a bus to ‘medical college’.
Since, I got admission to my college hostel only recently, it was my first journey through that route to my hostel near ‘Power house’. I reached back at almost 6:10 pm or a few minutes later than that.
Now,that’s the story of my long walk alone. A lesson that the day taught me was, being alone is no hindrance to being happy, if you know to enjoy your path. All you have to do is, put your heart into your endeavours and keep your mind wide open to learn and accept new things.
Keep walking friend… 😊